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AND I KNOW SOMETIMES OLD PEOPLEDON'T HEAR GOOD, LIKE MY GRANMA WHO HAS A HERRING AID, AND MAYBE YOU AREWORRIED ABOUT YOUR HOUSE WITH THE POLER ICE MELTING AND EVERYTHINGBUT I REALLY WISH YOU LISTNED BETTER WHEN I SAT ON YOUR LAP AT MACIESAND TOLD YOU WHAT I WANTED FOR CHRISTMASI SAID I WANTED A COCKATOO! NOT A COCK OR TWO!SINCERLY,MARCIA GREENBLATT(THE GIRL WITH TWO DICKS)/////////////////////////////////////////////#4 ////////// THE DEADPAN DETECTIVES IN:THE CASE OF THE CATALEPTIC KATOYSThe fiend was taken away in handcuffs, ranting. A doctor was called in"Will they be okay, Doc?" Hard to tell. Toxicology isn't my specialty. Why would somebody do this?Takes all kinds, I guess."Friday glared at him. "No it doesn't. Not this kind..."The abandoned furniture store was a ghastly spectacle. Apparently theThai transsexuals were lured to America with promises of employment.They'd been put in strange positions and paralyzed with curare to formchairs, sofas, ottomans. A hundred eyeballs. “Your what?” I said. “Did he drown? How small is he, anyway?” “He’s rather big, actually,” Carlotta said, “but that’s not the point.” “Is he small, or big?” I said. “You’re confusing me.” I took a drink of whiskey. I needed it. “It’s about my love button,” Carlotta said. “What’s wrong,” I said, “did you lose it?” “No,” Carlotta said, “I didn’t lose it but the men I’ve been with have been clueless about its location. That’s my problem. I want to know if there’s a man alive who can find my pleasurenut,” Carlotta said. “This is nuts,” I said. I had to take another drink. “You keep changing the subject. First it’s a man, then it’s a button, now it’s a nut. Which is what I’m beginning to think you are.” “I don’t mean to be obscure,” Carlotta said. “I’m talking about my spark plug. You must have heard of what I’m referring to?” “I don’t think so, lady,” I said. I rolled my eyes and took another drink. A big drink. “Now it’s internal combustion engines, I’m getting a headache.” “I’ve got to.
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