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”“AM,” he cried, like a c***d.“Just a little fucked up – you’re figuring shit out – ““Don’t want to – figure it out. Fuck it. Fuck all of it. Fuck you.”He started to tantrum, which was pretty amazing to see, given the fact he had to weigh in at 240 lbs.“Son – RYAN –“He turned on me –“What, Mr. James – what the fuck – what the fuck doyawant-huh? With a fucking loser like me – fucking fucktard fucking bitch? I’m a fucking bitch. That’s what the guys call me – fucking loser bitch.” And then he threw himself into me, sobbing, face in my neck, crying like I never seen a man cry – like he’d been holding it in his whole life – whatever it was.“Aww baby – baby boy. Son. Son,” I said, just holding him, caressing him. “It’s okay. Let it out, k**. It’s okay to let it out – you need to. It’s okay.“It’s not okay. I’m a loser,” he said, one more time. But he had more control now. It was more of a statement. He pulled back, looking me in the eye, declared it again: “I’m a loser, Mr. James.”“No,. Banners and awnings in the front of shops flutteredin the breeze, advertising everything from antiquesto hardware. Since it was a town located on a largelake with lots of recreation opportunities, it wasbusy on this early June day. People strolled up anddown the sidewalks, ice cream cones in hand, most ofthem escaping from stressful jobs in the city orfeeling the freedom of being out of school for thesummer.The breeze tugged at my skirt, and instinctively Imoved my left hand to the hem. I looked down at theskirt, reminded of how out of place I was here.Rather than a light cotton or rayon summer skirt, Iwas wearing a heavy pink poodle skirt right out ofthe 1950s. I was also wearing black and white saddleshoes with white bobby socks, and a pink sweater. Myhair was done in what my beautician had called a"pixie cut" and my nails were painted pink to matchthe outfit. Pink blush, lipstick, and eye shadow alsocomplimented my ensemble, while a pair of vintagecat-eye sunglasses provided the.
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