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.I looked at the stranger again, this time I didn`t have to do anything else. I followed him to an old flat, the kind that makes you think of old money lost somewhere, old maiden aunts with hidden love stories and pale handsome boys that danced the night away...Still, I had but little time to muse over this, the hours that followed left no time for the outside world to mean anything.Lost in games of power and surrender, unable to distinguish pleasure from pain any longer, welcoming both as a retrieve, I became one with someone whose name I didn´t even know. I would find the meaning to my own in his bed, amidst hours that would prove bitter in daylight. Still, their memory would stay with me, no wound can forget the knife that carved it, no welt the whip that left it on the skin, no wrist the cuff...For a brief moment, I came to love that stranger who asked for nothing and yet took everything. He became no one and everyone, I`d met him in a crowd and would lose him in a flat with. It was Tracy. They were releasing her at ten and I could come and get her."And the birth certificate?" It reads Jason Louis." I'll see you at ten."I left the boxes in the living room for Tracy to see when she got home. I wanted her to know just how close she had come to pushing me over the edge. It might prevent problems later in life.When I picked Tracy up before I let her get in the car I asked for the birth certificate. She gave me a nasty look, but handed it to me. It had the name on it that we had agreed on. I helped them into the car and then I drove Tracy and 'our' baby home. Tracy's eyes got wide when she saw the boxes in the living room and some of her clothes setting next to them.Tracy was a little chilly towards me for a few days, but I ignored her and concentrated on Louie as I started calling him. He wasn't mine and I knew it, but to keep Tracy I had made the decision to take him to raise and by God I would do it to the best of my ability. None of it was his fault and I.
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