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"I got up early and had coffee with Dad. Then I woke Patrick and got him busy in the bathroom. I went and gave a kiss to a somnolent Weena and helped Patrick with his lace-up boots."Let's get some breakfast into you." Okay. But I'm ready." Can you read a map?" Not really." Well, we'll see how you do as we drive."We sat with Dad as he had more coffee. I wanted more, but I knew what it would do to my bladder on the drive. I took the roadmaps while Patrick finished his cereal and milk. We were underway a few minutes after eight. Close.As I pulled onto the highway westbound, I handed a map to Patrick. "Try unfolding this; it's tricky." Tricky?" It's what's called 'accordion folded.' Some people get confused and end up destroying the map." Oh." He looked at the folds, unfolded it once, looked at the way it went, and unfolded it once the other way."Good boy. Can you see the towns and lines?" Yes." Can you read any names towards the middle of the map?" I see Emerald." Good. A few centimetres. “My flatmate’s away and I’m in need of some adult company. Come on guys, it’ll be fun.” Just then a shout came over their radio and they had to rush off. They smiled and waved at me as they sped past me in their powerful patrol car with blue lights flashing and sirens blaring. It was nearly four thirty when I arrived home laden with carrier bags full of new clothes, bags and accessories. I kicked of my shoes, poured a huge glass of wine, stripped naked and ran a deep bubbly bath. An hour or so later I emerged wrapped in an oversize soft white towelling robe. I was resigned to spending a quiet night in front of the TV with only my bottle of Chablis for company and wasn’t really expecting the two police officers I’d encountered earlier in the day to take me up on my crude invitation But, just as the six o’clock news finished, the entryphone buzzed. “Hello,” I said. A vaguely recognisable male voice said sternly, “It’s the police miss, open up please.” I realised who it was and pressed.
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