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I know that’s really crude. Sorry. What I actually told my wife is that celibacy is not an option in any way, shape or form in my life. I will have a sex life one way or the other. What that means and how that’s implemented is up to her.One of my friends asked me to give him my word I would discuss it with him if I actually got to the point I was ready to do it. I gave it. With the understanding that I was not promising to not do it and that I expected to discuss the pro’s and con’s I.E. a fair hearing. He agreed.I asked my other friend if I called him the day of to say goodbye would he try any stupid shit like calling the police or would he respect my decision? I told him I knew he would try to talk me out of it, but if he realized I had made a final decision would he respect it? He said he would respect it. I trust him as he’s never lied to me. I was wiped out by the time the day was over but I had a plan put together.A nice meal of beef stew w/ some Italian bread. A good German. And it was just sex, as Liana had said. It wasn’t love. I looked away from the picture of Seth’s smiling face that I had tacked up on our fridge, feeling a swell of guilt. Liana had said it wasn’t cheating if it wasn’t love. It was a business transaction and nothing more. Her logic was loosely woven and irrational at best, but now having already agreed, I compelled myself to believe in it. And it was just this one time. Nobody would ever have to know. I spent the next several hours getting ready for the appointment. I spent an extra long time in the shower, trying to drain the tension that was already creeping into my shoulders. I soaped my body, realizing that night I would be giving it over to a stranger to do with what he pleased for money. The idea of it turned me on. I had never cheated on Seth before. My body had known only him for the past 4 years. I wondered what it would feel like to have another pair of unknown hands on me and another cock inside me. The thrill of the idea.
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