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With an effort of will I stopped those racing thoughts. There would be time enough to think them slowly and carefully in the forthcoming months. To calm down I tried to masturbate, but it made the cut across my vulva hurt and even to start bleeding again, so I gave it up.Why did I feel so uneasy? Whatever my life would be, once I was free again, it would be better than being a slave. Or would it? This thought crept up at me from behind, unanticipated, uninvited and unwelcome, yet suddenly it was there. Did I really, truly, with all my heart, want to be free? Or was there a comfort in being a slave, a quietude, a deep satisfaction, a secret desire fulfilled that I had never been consciously aware of?I chased this thought away. Who in her own sane mind would not rejoice at the prospect of losing her chains?I masturbated now, never mind the pain and the bleeding — I needed that orgasm! And, I became aware, for this orgasm I needed him! Again I was kneeling in front of him, but this time. I kinda got a rep... people don't fuk w/me:)soon it was down to the clerk (who can never take his eyes off my ass when i'm not looking) a wanna be gangster, a crack whore making a night of it and some homeless guy in the stalls just wanting some shelter.the crack whore (linda) never remembers me, though we've met more than once on the street & i'm always kind to her (i give out the smokes & we talk about sobriety & God & the Jesus). she was shopping for a new vibrator to try out in one of the bigger rooms to really get it on w/herself & make a night of it till the sun came up when she could go sleep somewhere warm. i helped her pick out a nice pink one.the wanna be gangster was talking about how it was best to buy gold off down & outers and melt it down yourself to pawn for cash... believe it or not, he's quite the lady's man w/meth smokin' fat chicks... seriously! and while i was sending you that pic last night, he was snapping a pic himself... of my ass w/his phone... i guess to.
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