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“Oh fuck!” says Tommy as he shot his load, luckily it missed her dress and cardigan and splattered onto her neck.“You’re fucking useless,” she opined. Poor Tommy. He ended up kipping in corridor.Next day Tommy had to go home be way of Doncaster on account of line being blocked and he had to report to shedmaster to explain why he hadn’t kept a proper look out.“I had trouble wi injector see,” he explained, “These Gresley engines are rubbish.”“And thee driver?” he asked. Now Tommy weren’t sort of bloke to dob any bugger in so he says, “Having a shit on me shovel while I worked on injector.”“Trying to bugger thee more like,” Inspector replied, “Ah well he won’t be buggering any bugger any time soon, all skins burned off his ass and that firebox door handle.”“Went up his ass,” Tommy said all innocent like.“Did it heck as like,” said Inspector, “It went in all reet but it missed his ass hole, fact is he got two ass holes now.”“No, you’re joking!” Tommy gasped.“Fucking surgeon at Railway. I served her drink and sat down next to her. “What’s that you’re drinking, Vodka,” she asked, looking at my glass.“No, it’s just seltzer water. I don’t drink alcohol. My coach has us under stringent rules. No drinking or smoking.”“Your coach? In what? I didn’t know you were involved in sports.”“I am. I work out four days a week. I am what is called a young hopeful on the US Judo squad.”“What are the young hopefuls?”“We are the ones who hope to be accepted for the next Olympic team in four years.”“You that good?”“I’m not sure I am. However, several people think I might have a chance.”“Ray, may I ask you a personal question?”“Sure.”“Why is your girlfriend not here with you tonight? Why me?”“Kim, I don’t have a girlfriend. You are the first young lady I have ever been out with.”“Why?”“Why don’t I have a girlfriend, or why you?’“No, the girlfriend bit. You must be interested in girls, I presume.”“Definitely am, however, not only don’t I have a girlfriend, but I also don’t have any.
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