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When she looked up and saw Jim looking at her, she stopped for a moment. She knew who Jim was, she had seen him around the building but she had never really paid much attention to him. He was attractive but she was more interested in guys her own age. The rumor around the office was that he was a loner, maybe a little ruthless but an excellent attorney. She also knew that he had lost his wife several years before."I'm so sorry," Jim mumbled again as he gazed into those deep blue eyes. All of a sudden, he felt like a kid again. He felt his breath quicken and his palms begin to sweat. God, he had been in high-pressure trials where there were millions of dollars at stake and he had not broken into a sweat. Yet, one look at this young girl and he began to sweat."I know, you said that," Jenny smiled back at him."Are you all right?" Jim asked with concern.She held his gaze for a moment before bending to reach down and retrieve a paper in front of her. "Yes I'm fine," she answered not. As soon as the door shuts, I roll over clutching my pillow sobbing.After my humiliating punishment, I head to the bathroom and start my bath. I was just caught wearing makeup, considered trashy by my parents at seventeen, but I spy my mother's lipstick on the counter by the sink, and an idea pops into my head. Picking up her lipstick, I paint a circle on my nose tip, and carefully outline my downturned lips in a huge smile.Up until now, it has been hard for me to look in the mirror. I guess it is shame and self-consciousness... always fearing I will mess up. But now, I like what I see. I stand there staring into the mirror for so long, my bathwater runs cold. My mind turns to clowns.~~~My college yearsBeing raised with sharp criticism and judgment takes its toll on a person. If you feel like you can never live up, you might quit trying. This is what happens to me in college. Safely out of their grasps and watchful eyes, I run wild. My roommate introduces me to alcohol. And you know.
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