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There was nochance of me getting pregnant so who really cared. I saved enough money to finally buy a car and get out of this situation.I lost track of Molly and Heather and decided to go back to my home townand see if I could find my parents or even my sister. Finding my oldhouse was easy and I learned both my parents had died two years earlier.My sister still lived in town but no one really wanted to talk abouther. I found out where she lived and decided to see if she would see me.I thought that the Velvet Hands Lounge was in a seedy area but mysisters place scared me. There were drunks on the street, winos sleepingin the alleys, drug dealers on the corners and other low life's allaround. I found her apartment and knocked on the door. I was swearing ashort skirt and colored top so my beauties were covered. I didn't wantto upset her too much with the change. The door opened and I saw a womanwith ratty hair, a cigarette in her mouth, her top torn and wearing adirty skirt. She didn't. Faye was still shaking lightly...maybe fromthe shock of what had happened, or just the adrenaline starting to wearoff. By comparison, I wasn't doing all that badly: I had a few scrapesand a couple of bruises, nothing that wouldn't fade in a week or so.Instead most of the damage had been done to my pride.My mind kept replaying the scene in my head, over and over, faster andfaster....no matter how much I wanted to, it wouldn't stop. Like mysubconscious was determined to remind me of what I'd allowed myself tobecome.Weak.Helpless.A target.I clenched my eyes shut, at the same time fighting back a surge ofemotion that caught in my throat. This was nothing like what I'd dreamtof. Every waking moment since I'd made a bargain with Lust had donenothing but fill me with emptiness and regret. It stripped away myillusions and presented me with the cold, hard truth: Being a girl wasnothing like what I'd envisioned. And honestly, the truth of that wasso depressing, I'd kill myself all over again.
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