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Suddenly a Kodiak Grizzly Bear crossed his path and made eye contact with Chuck Norris, Bad Idea – Chuck took out his Swiss Army Knife and stabbed the Bear in the throat. Chuck ate the Grizzly Bear and used the Grizzly Bears’ fur for a rug.If you don’t know who Chuck Norris is he is a world champion at kickboxing, karate, ninja arts, sumo wrestling, Tae Bo, street fighting, hand to hand combat, and also was a national spelling bee competition winner. Chuck Norris has no weaknesses; he is the ultimate fighting machine.Chuck’s c***dhoodNot much is known about Chuck’s early life. Chuck Norris has no mother, as crawling out of a vagina is unbecoming of a man of his stature. Chuck Norris spontaneously came into existence on Karl Marx’s birthday. This was no accident since Chuck Norris is the polar opposite of communism’s yin, and the very thought of communism makes Chuck Norris Want to puke.Chuck Norris Defender of FreedomChuck Norris has fought in every American war including the. “Cher Dieu,” I murmured, fluttering erratically in the direction of the direction our captors had taken us several fateful days hence, enjoying the view from thrice my normal height. It took days, during which I’d learned to feats on the nectar of indigenous flowers to sate my appetite, if not my hunger, which only grew with each sip until I found it hard to think as sexual desire clouded my brain until I nearly forgot my mission. Was this what the butterflies felt, I wondered, or was this some side effect of my metamorphosis – neither insect nor woman, but some strange amalgamation of both. I began to despair; the thought of finding myself in this state permanently might eventually drive me mad. I took to masturbating every time I settled on petals and drank the ambrosia deep within the wells of blooming flowers, relieving myself for short periods of time until the need arose again, disconcertingly stronger each time until I realized that, eventually, it would consume me beyond.
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