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"What are you talking about?" I replied, feeling the panic welling up within me."I know you're seeing another woman," she said flatly, without a trace of rancor. "So, who is she? Do I know her?" Melanie," I said, stammering a little. "I'm, I'm NOT seeing another woman. I'd never do that to you. Never! I mean that."She gave me a disappointed, even sad sort of expression. "You can tell me," she said. "I do understand why you're doing it. I'm not insensitive to the fact that you have needs I can no longer meet. Okay? So, tell me who you're seeing. Please? I'm not angry with you for it. Honestly."My heart was still pumping hard in my chest, as if I'd just finished running up a flight of stairs.She squeezed my hand in hers, loosely, because of the loss of strength in her muscles from the MS. "Please tell me. I want to know who your seeing. That's all. I'd like to know what her name is. Please?"Taking in a deep breath, and then letting it out, I said: "I'm not seeing another woman. I told. ’ My social worker mentioned that he wanted the hospital to release me to homeless shelter so he didn’t have to give me any of my stuff. She advised him that it would be a bad move legally. He liked to tackle and threaten to kill. When I disagreed or felt tired of being ignored and bled dry for my time, housekeeping, rent, and lawn care, he’d assault me. When I struck back or screamed too loud, he’d call and they’d come. They never listened to me and he always won with lies. I would be tucked away and he’d visit the standards, I guess: strip club for coke and his friend for a cock to suck. I had no options or choices. The eviction turned out to be the best thing for me. Alone. I keep reading that it is because of the trauma I’m scared to connect. It is true. Each day as the memories fade some, I feel better and better. The last thing broken in his house: palm-striking my framed art work. It hangs in my room now, above the bed, no glass still. A hole in the middle of a poster of Van.
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