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"What was her name?" Shit, what was her name?"Kelly," I said, quick on the draw, "Kelly Hermanis." I have no clue where "Hermanis" came from, but that's what I said, and it sounded convincing. Cara looked satisfied and nodded. I needed to change the subject. "Plus," I said, " You're boyfriend's a prick." She smiled and started to laugh."Michael?" she asked, "He's harmless." At that we fell into our old friendship and began joking and reminiscing about the last few years. We had a lot to catch up on and we talked pretty solidly for the rest of the time it took to reach the lake. She told me how she pretty much ruled the relationship with Michael and that she stayed with him just because he would do anything she said. She told me about how her parents split up but how it was cool because she got a lot more independence. God, she even told me how her cat, Peter, went blind and started running into walls. I was sad to hear about her dad moving out though, I really liked him."Sucks about. “I should've done..” “Why was I so..” “No wonder she doesn't..” Those thoughts are toxic and seizes up your body.When you're in love with someone who doesn't love you back, you get so ******* close to hating them. You hate that they've ripped you open, eaten you up and have left you to decay. You hate that they have let you hate yourself more than you could ever hate them. You hate them because of the things they gave you which weren't all good. And the things they stole. Like crying on their shoulders which they gave, but your pride they took.When you're in love with someone for the first time and they don't love you back, you never want to fall in love again. You never want attachments with anyone because of this substantial pain that is constantly there. You never want to kiss with love, talk with love, witness love. You never want love unless, it's that one person you love. That's the only thing that matters. Love had a horrible reputation, it's either make it or ******* break.
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