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I’ve been trained to delve, dig, and dive to the heart of a mystery. I was soon to learn that mysterious was a word that fit Carlotta to a T. “It concerns my little man in the boat,” Carlotta said. “Your what?” I said. “Did he drown? How small is he, anyway?” “He’s rather big, actually,” Carlotta said, “but that’s not the point.” “Is he small, or big?” I said. “You’re confusing me.” I took a drink of whiskey. I needed it. “It’s about my love button,” Carlotta said. “What’s wrong,” I said, “did you lose it?” “No,” Carlotta said, “I didn’t lose it but the men I’ve been with have been clueless about its location. That’s my problem. I want to know if there’s a man alive who can find my pleasurenut,” Carlotta said. “This is nuts,” I said. I had to take another drink. “You keep changing the subject. First it’s a man, then it’s a button, now it’s a nut. Which is what I’m beginning to think you are.” “I don’t mean to be obscure,” Carlotta said. “I’m talking about my spark plug. You must have. . Alana could easily pass for Heather even in decent light, and certainly so in complete darkness.“What the hell is going on!”“What are you freaking out about?” Shannon persisted, though I was detecting some deep undercurrent of amusement in her voice now. “Is there a spider in here or something?Muireann squealed in fright at this.“Heather!” I called.“Yeah?” she replied, still from the opposite corner.“Who ... was—who was just kissing me!” I cried, feeling a bit desperate.“Kissing?” Muireann said, thoroughly shocked, though maybe it was as fake as the fright. “Matt!”“Yeah, um ... What are you talking about?” Heather asked. “You’re kidding right? Was one of you two really just kissing my boyfriend?” she demanded, her voice sharp.“Not at all!”“He’s messing with you, Heather,” Shannon said.“Can I turn on the lights?” I pleaded. “Are you done with the film yet, Muireann!”“Having some trouble,” she replied, unable to suppress a giggle.“What the fuck is going on!”Restore order ....
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