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As nice as it was to have popular friends and beautiful women to look at all day long, I was also anguishing in a special circle of Hell, where my penis and I were at a constant state of war with each other. The argument went something like this:MY PENIS: “Fuck her! She’s hot!”THE REST OF ME: “No, we’re friends, it’d be weird…”PENIS: “But… tits!”Needless to say, it was a confusing time for me.It all started with Corrine, a bodacious blonde who was clearly destined for the Playboy centerfold. For a late-blooming nerd like me, she was also the most intimidating person on the planet. Every detail about her seemed specifically designed to twist my tongue into knots. First off, she was the tallest girl in school. I was 5’11” and she had maybe half an inch on me (Corrine liked to joke that this was due to her “Viking ancestry”). She also had a dazzling smile that belied an impish, teasing spirit, and a natural hourglass figure. But what really made my head spin were her tits. Her absolutely. .. I love ‘em! I love sluts, I love cucks, I love gays and lezzies ... I love ‘em all. Except pedos, abusers, rapists, and other assorted scum, of course. They can rot in Hell if there really is one. But I love sluts best of all. You make life so much enjoyable on our journey to the grave.”“Well, speaking for the skanks, sluts, tramps, hussies, tarts, hoes, whores, harlots, etc., I thank you and all men like you for not judging us! Especially since judging us would make y’all hypocrites, wouldn’t it?” Crystal moved that pretty ass of hers and long, blonde hair of hers along with her hips as she let Dan pound her over the bar.It was past closing hours, after all, but Crystal loved to let Dan and other lucky bastards fuck her, her sister Tammy, and her daughter Nikki after hours when the tavern was closed. She knew that her sister and daughter put out for Dan, too, but hey, what girl from Stagwood, especially Buckman Trailer Park, didn’t? Dan was cock of the walk for a reason, wasn’t.
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