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“So what do I do first?”His father replied, “Take her clothes off and lay her on the bed.”5 minutes later Fred’s on the phone again.“She’s naked and in bed, what do I do now???His father can’t believe what he is hearing, “Take your damn clothes off and get into bed with her.”After another 5 minutes poor Fred is on the phone again.“Dad, I’m naked and in bed with her, what do I do now?”His dad’s patience is now running thin so he says, “Shit son! Do I have to spell everything out for you? Just put the hardest thing on your body where she pees. Goodnight!!!”Just when the old man starts snoring, his son is on the phone once again. “Ok Dad, I have my head in the toilet bowl what do I do next”“DROWN YOURSELF, YOU F**KING IDIOT!Two paramedics arrived at the scene of a car crash. The driver of the car was sitting in his seat, screaming hysterically.One of the paramedics tried to calm him. “Take deep breaths and pull yourself together. Be thankful that at least you haven’t gone through the. I went into a store to get some taffy. When I came out my husband was talking to someone, but I paid no attention. We continued to walk, hand in hand. Then I would drop his hand and he would slow his walk and I would give him another peak. I love being able to tease, but keep it from being too risky or over the top. We still had to blend into the crowd. Any chance I could get though, when no one was looking....FLASH!Eventually my husband had enough. I was wet as hell from my teasing routine. He said "hey, let's walk down that path", pointing to a narrow alley where maintenance and trash employees generally only traveled. I did as suggested. We walked down the path and around towards the back of the stores. There were trees and shrubs, but there were sidewalks and people just on the other side. When no one else was nearby I bent over a short stone wall. That's when he entered me. It felt like a tree branch, he was so big. His size was painful to say the least. A pain.
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