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." Oh, no! I would like to talk about this with you. Our love life died some time before that. It became too painful for her, she lost interest in sex. At first, I blamed myself, but then we found out about the cancer. They took her uterus and ovaries, but it was too late. The cancer spread anyway. It took a long time." I've had loved ones die from cancer, too. It's never easy. You're sad when it's over, but you're relieved, too, in a way." So you understand. You know, she told me to seek out sexual companionship elsewhere if I wished to, but I never did. I wanted to be faithful to her to the end, as I promised her when we married. I never strayed." What happened after she passed away? Did you start dating again?"He grimaced. "Well, that. About a year ago, I went to bed with a woman. But it did not end well. When we began to make love, I found out that I could not perform as I used to." What do you mean? You couldn't achieve an erection?" Oh, I could do that, but I couldn't maintain. Grrrr. I already miss having your cock in my mouth. Yeah, I kinda just.. I went to a very interesting place in my head a couple times when I was touching you, kissing you, licking, sucking (basically worshiping you, damn it, I hate that word, I hate the idea of doing it and I was doing it and I loved it). I was very focused and also very peaceful and also.. maybe aroused? I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense, why would I like it so much? There’s no way you’ve conditioned me to like it or anything. And I’m squeamish with bodily fluids and at some point I was licking your cock and there was precum and I was happy to taste it. What the fuck. Not cool. What are you doing to me - are you doing anything, or is it just me? I really wasn’t afraid of pain before I met you. Not really. I wanted to be, but I couldn’t imagine it. Pussy whipping… It terrifies me because it’s so painful and it’s all in one place, or feels like it is, and it builds and last time I knew it.
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