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"I know I've been a bitch," still softly, then with more force as she looked at me with laughter in her eyes."I deserved what I got," Terri said sweetly.My face must have registered surprise, although I don't know why. She was obviously intent on apologizing, for whatever reason. But a statement that 'she deserved what she got, ' was not what I expected.It was impossible not to smile back. Another memory flashed in my mind, of her looking at me across a room, then quickly glancing away before I could read her expression."That's all I've been thinking about for the past two weeks."I knew that was true. In a vague way I had been aware of long conversations between Jan and Terri, Jan and Laura, Laura and Terri and probably other females as well. I think even my mother got in on the act."But I'm not really a bitch."My face must have registered skepticism, as she went on hurriedly, "Laura is the bitch. She runs Mike around in circles. I feel sorry for him."'Now isn't this a turn of events,. We'd talked and done no more than hold hands. I hadn't even kissed her. The power of my dream, its intensity, and the desire I'd experienced, were warning bells. If I was this enamored with her after holding her hand and just being with her, what would happen if I kissed her? I couldn't ignore that she was underaged and, based on my reactions, there was a big chance I might not care if I ever actually kissed her. I was teetering even now.I envisioned the embarrassment I'd feel if our developing relationship was revealed, my co-workers disapproval, my mother's disappointment, Keira's family's disgust. The fact that those thoughts didn't bother me was an indication of how smitten I was. It had to stop. It might be as hard as kicking a cocaine habit but I had to stop. There was too much at stake for Keira and for me.Absentmindedly I reached for my ever present ruler, shoved it inside the cast on my arm and scratched as if I had a case of fleas. I was angry and sad and full of moral.
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