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But it's how I saw myself in that moment.What was more overwhelming than anything right now though, was my desireto be held. To have human contact of any sort. To be supported andcomforted. But Kevin didn't seem to like me enough to even want to dothat.I kept my tears silent.They trickled heavily down my cheeks and onto the bed in a nearcontinuous flow. But there was no accompanying whimper or wail. Just theoccasional sniffle as my lacrimal ducts drained into my nose.The noiseless despair of the unloved.When his breathing became heavy and rhythmical I slid from bed andpadded as quietly as I could into the en suite to clean myself up.Under the shower, I poked around gently as I wiped as things were quiteginger. There was a little blood. Not unexpected I suppose. As far as Iwas concerned I was a virgin. I wasn't sure how Mr Black's changedreality actually worked. But I'd entered this life as a married adultwoman. Alex Moore was not a virgin. She couldn't be. So could I claim tobe?It. . "Oliver..." His mother's voice was gentle, but it still made him jump when she took a seat beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Why not come inside now... you must be hungry, and you'll feel so much better if you take a little nap. Don't you think so?"Oliver shook his head. "I don't wanna take a nap." Well, then come eat something then; how 'bout..." I don't want to eat," Oliver cut her off in a startlingly firm tone. "I wanna sit here, so when Frank comes back he knows I waited for him."Mary fell silent next to him. For a moment, even her breathing ceased to exist as she looked at her son as if he'd said something particularly peculiar. "But Oliver, you don't need to..." Why did Frank leave, Mama?" Oliver suddenly asked. "Why did he go like that?"Mary pursed her lips for a moment, and then looked at Oliver, even while he turned away from her. "He's not coming back, Oliver." Yes he will," Oliver replied, just as quickly.Mary felt her frown deepening. There was.
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