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When I was five she settled on a dutch boy style, and at six my hair was still in that style. Recently she had refrained from trimming it, and it was reaching my shoulders. I didn't mind, because alot of the boys in my grade had longer hair, but when I saw myself in the mirror in my dance tights, the lines between boy and girl really started to blur. "Okay honey, now put on these white socks, and then I have 4 pair of ballet slippers for you to try on. We need to find the pair that fits just right." I couldn't believe that now I had to wear shoes that really looked liked girls shoes. I mean soft black slippers that barely covered my feet, with a black strap across my instep. "Mom, these are girl's shoes!" "No, Erin, they're not! Try this pair on." After three tries, mom found the perfect fit. "Okay, let's go. Aren't you excited? I am", she said. "I'm scared", I said. "Erin, you'll have a great time. I promise. You're going to remember this day for the rest of your. Well everything. But...” She said looking in her lap and holding my hand tight.“But we were good.” I said.She looked up smiling, but with tears welling up in her big brown eyes. “It was. Is it too crazy ... us doing stuff?” she asked earnestly.I thought about it. No, I really did! Although the guy in me wanted to scream, ‘Crazy! No! We should do it. We should do it right here. Right now!’Yes, sex between a brother and sister is supposed to be wrong. It’s taboo for a reason. But we weren’t going to have kids. We both needed someone we could trust. Someone we could open up to. Someone we could be ourselves with. We were not taking advantage of the other ... or maybe we were both taking advantage of each other. I was a little hazy on that one. Still.“Donna,” I finally answered, “We are probably crazy, but this,” I held up our clasped hands, “What we’ve done ... what I’d like to do ... Fuck everyone else. It feels right to me. Right for us.”When she threw herself at me this time I did.
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