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I’m over-caffeinated and my hearts pounding. I can’t. I can’t. I’m going to spill it. I take a seat and put the coffee down. Maybe if I collect myself. Deep breaths. Anxiety attack. I stride for the stairs in a cool motion. Up one step. No. I turn to the kitchen. Two cups down the drain. That kind of fear isn’t normal. I’ve never had an anxiety attack before. I feel unstable. For some reason I can’t cope. I need help, a friend. Anything, I shouldn’t be having issues talking to my husband. And for such a small unnoticeable reason. I know he loves me, but, something must be wrong. This has been at the back of my mind for years. It’s too much right now. I have an appointment to make. I’m going, even if it’s just to talk with anyone. Hell I would spill my guts to the bitchy receptionist if she would listen. Call it therapy. I put on my coat and braced myself for the cold Massachusetts weather. Before I got in the car I marveled that I would actually be going to that fake appointment I. He seemed to enjoy it.To tell the truth, I kind of did, too. Like I said, people adapt. These breaks in the monotony of staring silently at a wall, were welcome distractions.I got up off the floor, dripping and hugging myself, and wishing there was a blanket. My clothes were rags, and there was no chance of getting anything else. They only gave me new clothes when the old ones literally rotted off my body. I started pacing around the room, hoping to work up some body heat. There had been no work for the last few days, and except for last night's 'visitors', no one had come into the room, except to drop off the small portion of food and water I got each day.I was getting restless, and was spending too much time cooped up in my own head. That's when things were the worst. Having time to think was like a rot in my soul. Working on the jobs they assigned to me, or making small talk with bored guards, kept me distracted and unable to dwell.I stopped my circles of the room for a moment,.
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