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So we could talk. And that’s when everything went right down the drain. Do you remember that you insisted I answer a question which I felt you had no right to ask? And that was after you basically refused to discuss the future.”“So I can’t be unsure? I have to decide?”“Did I ask you to decide? No! I asked you to talk about it and work on it! But you seem to think talking about it commits you to some course of action!”“And you think sex commits YOU to some course of action!”I sighed, “No, I don’t. Well, that’s not quite true. There ARE girls for whom it does. And I would never be with a girl like that unless I was ready to make a permanent commitment.”“A girl like that? You mean not a slut?”“I never SAID that, nor did I imply it! And if I thought THAT, why did I offer to talk to you about the future?”“Guilt?”“That is NOT even remotely true! I’ve had sex with girls just for pure pleasure and with whom I had, and have, NO intention of having a romantic relationship! I don’t feel guilty. ” Nothinglike a reference to a Stanley Kubrick movie, to spice up your sex life. And just so no one misunderstands it, it wasn’t old colonial racism, it was the way they played, this wasn’t the best degrading line he had delivered to her, but it was typical of the kind on lines he used to her. His talk often surprised her, to be clear it actually surprise him too. He had no idea where it comes from. He didn’t know he had that filth in his brain before he met Erica. Or he probably know that, just never thought he should be brave enough to say words like that, it was one thing to think them, it was totally different to say them, the sexual, the words become more real then he said them out laud. At least he wasn’t the only pervert, last night she had induced a butterfly knife into one of their erotic plays. It was something sexy about the knife in her small hands with black fingernails. It was a turn on then she marked a cut from his navel and down. He decided to continue.
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