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Theremoval process was simply too nerve wracking and strenuous.A tentative glimpse into the mirror had him reaching for his jewelry box.The large hoop, clip on earrings were all that was needed to complete thelook. He couldn't keep the sadness at bay. He'd never even be able to passas a drag queen. The clothes don't make the woman, he thought and laughedsardonically.He shook his head violently and considered heading out into the "realworld." Screw them all. This is who I am, accept me or not. Minutes passedas he stood there contemplating his actions. Although he'd never beenoutside as Marcia, he was more than certain as to what the reaction wouldbe. In an odd sort of way, he agreed with those who would pass judgment.There was no room in this world for a person with his needs, wants, anddesires.Picking up the small black leather case he slowly made his way back tobed. He made it as neatly as possible. Hospital corners all around. Thebeautiful floral bedspread and the lace edged. "I sat with my eyes downcast, hoping that this would all end soon andwondering how long I would be grounded."Is there anything else you want to tell me?" No," I said, shaking my head."You're not gay are you?" No Mom!" Okay. I'm sorry. I had to ask."Some moments of awkward silence passed between us."Do you still want to wear nylons?" I'll stop mom. I promise I'll never wear them again." I didn't reallybelieve that and I'm pretty certain my mother didn't either. Even if Ireally wanted to stop I don't think it would be possible. I had tried afew times and even managed to go days or weeks without indulging but itnever lasted."I want to make a deal with you. If you go along with it I won't groundyou and we'll overlook your dishonesty."Honesty was a big deal with my mother. "What's the deal?" I will buy you your own pantyhose and you will wear them everyday, allday, for the rest of the summer. At the end of the summer, you can wearthem or not. Your choice. But I think we will know by then.
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