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As George Costanza would have said, "Therewas SHRINKAGE!") But the thing is, I noticed. As I swam around, feelingmy bits sloshing back and forth in the water, suddenly, the balanceshifted dramatically... and permanently. I no longer cared about thecomplexity or the risks of the surgery. I just wanted that stuff GONE,once and for all. I wanted a completely female body, and I didn't carewhat I had to do to get it.Okay, it's probably an exaggeration to say that I no longer cared. Istill carried a lot of anxiety about it, but the thing is, that anxietywas no longer a block. I was finally ready, and from here on out, Iwasn't going to let anything stop me.Where I live (Canada), we are extremely fortunate that SRS is covered byour public health insurance, but, in order to QUALIFY for coverage, thereare about a thousand hoops you have to jump through first. And I was onlypoised for hoop number one. I had a long way to go.Hoop number one was simply to get a foot in the door of the Adult. All I had to do wasgive Mike some time. Mike would soon be the strong confident man that Iknew and loved again. Then he would land a fantastic job and I could goback to being his devoted stay at home wife again.But Mike suprised me so much. He actually did not seem to have a problemdoing some of what I used to do. He kept the house clean and neat as muchas he could and even made dinner a few nights. It was only pasta and atfirst it felt so wrong, watching him being in the kitchen which wasreally my domain but it also kind of felt nice. But it just made me feelguilty all over again because he was forced to do all this because I wasnot there. And I was not being the wife that I expected to be. All Iwanted was for him to get back to work so that I could go back to doingthose things and get back to the way things used to be. The way it shouldbe.Now and then I would gently bring up the topic of a job for him but itwas clear that he he was not ready. One day, after yet another pastadinner,.
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