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I laughed at myself as I recalled that some of my actions when summoning my new partners were signs of past mental habits and acts of overkill, given that the Fae had kept their word about everything. One detail about the summoning was that nobody would be reluctant, so despite their initial surprise, all of my summoned companions easily yielded to my sexual advances.The Fae laughed with me, saying, “Overkill’s okay at times. Just don’t ... shall I say, overdo it? It shows a natural tendency to plan everything down to the nth degree and leave no loopholes or contingencies, which is wise of you. Still, yeah, don’t forget, if you summon a person, that person is yours as long as you wish them ... oh, and do you plan to fuck those reporters you sent back to work? It seemed like it, because the summoning worked, after all.”“Yeah, I do. I just wanted to direct them to fuck each other first, straight after work. But, hell, yeah, I plan to roger them good and hard. All of them,” I reassured. .. Helpline here ... What’s the problem?”Customer: “I’m in the Outback with the girlfriend and she’s been stung on her thigh by a hornet and now her vagina has completely closed up!”Australian Telephone Operator: “Bummer!”Customer: “Great advice! Thanks mate, bye.”These are compliments of Gary H.Disturbing Beer News.Yesterday, University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:1) Gained weight.2) Talked excessively without making sense.3) Became overly emotional.4) Couldn’t drive.5) Failed to think rationally.6) Argued over nothing.7) Had to sit down while urinating.8) Refused to apologize when.
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