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“I trust him so far, but I have to make sure he’s not the kind of boy who would bang me and then try to swap me out for someone else when he’s done with me.”There were sharp intakes of breath around the room. DeeDee briskly got up from her chair and headed for the bathroom. If my eyes could get any wider, they suddenly were, staring at my girlfriend as she smiled innocently directly back into Lexie’s intimidating green eyes.I’d never seen Lexie more off-guard, but to her credit, she kept her composure.“Oh, Jen, that was just the boys having some fun. They weren’t serious about that,” she lied.No one believed a word of that, but it gave her a moment to figure out her next move.“The relationship had run its course,” she shrugged. “I, well, both DeeDee and I, felt it was time to date boys closer to our age again.”“Well, there are plenty of single guys around here, Lexie,” Jen put a little extra emphasis on ‘single.’ “I’m sure plenty of them would go out with you.”“I’m sure they would,”. So in addition to searching for myself, I’m searching for people I connect with who can help me. There are different kinds of connections. We talked about that a couple of months ago. The connection I have with you is different from the one I have with Jennifer or Stephanie.”“Stephanie? Your sister?”“Yes, I have a serious connection with her. She gives me advice and usually it’s pretty good. She told me to stay away from Becky and predicted something bad would happen if I didn’t. She’s been right about other things as well. I share everything with her.”“That’s amazing!” she said. “And Jennifer, of course, I understand what you have with her.” She paused, and said softly, with apprehension, “So what am I to you?”“You are, and will always be, a dear friend and a lover. You are someone who helped me when I was hurting and can help me in the future.”“But you don’t love me, do you?”“I’m not saying those words to anyone now except Stephanie. That love I understand. I’ve said ‘I love you’.
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