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. I was going to end up a shell, filled with nothing but anger and hate.This was it, then. This was the end. I went through my list of contingency plans and all of my thoughts of further revenge and locked them in a small box in my mind. I could leave this as it was; I had to leave this as it was – if not, my anger would take over and I'd be lost. I could live with what was already planned and it would satisfy me ... always assuming Amber and her family left me alone from now on. The love I felt for her would never die; it couldn't. True love was forever and some small part of me would grieve forever for what might have been ... but it was time to move on. It was just time; time to try to let the anger go.I allowed my eyes to open feeling oddly cleansed. I felt as if a burden had lifted from me. The rage wasn't completely gone and I worried that it would never be fully erased but it was at least lessened. Manageable. I still wasn't comfortable in my own skin ... but I could see a path. .. crap, I don't dance. I whispered to her back from twenty metres, "Thank you." Two months to a Spring wedding, November in Sydney. If you're lucky apinch of humidity without too much heat and a blazingly clear blue skyunlike almost anywhere. I haunted the sales and markets trying to findsomething I could live with that would fit the day. Finally found a nicelight floral print in a classic scoop neck sheath top with a slightlyflared A line skirt just below knee length. Good thing about Paddingtonmarkets, there were often fashion students from the local College tryingto get a leg up and they knew about tall models and... others. ThankChrist I had shoes and bag that would work just fine.I followed the weather hoping the day would be fine and mild and as suchthings go every once in a while, that's how it turned out. A lovely mildSaturday, with a temp in the low twenties, virtually no breeze andmoderate humidity. Nice one Cheryl, helps to have God onside. I took it easy having brekky and.
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