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I cancelled the appointment. The hormones take time to work out of the system so we were still good for awhile. I was going to go while we were here in Nashville in May. My doctor’s here. It got crazy and I didn’t go. I decided I was going to wait until after Dallas. Then ... it happened. I was going to go right after my time. That’s when it’s most effective, I guess. Except I didn’t have a time in May or in June.”“May or June?” I asked.“It’s not unusual,” Liz said quickly. “It takes time to regulate your body after you go off of birth control. Things were hectic in May so I didn’t pay it much attention. They were worse in June and I didn’t think about it then either. It wasn’t until this morning that I really gave it a lot of thought. I’m supposed to start ... soon ... in a few days, I think. Except I don’t feel like I’m going to start. I’ve put on three or four pounds in the last couple of weeks. I noticed this morning that some of my pants were a little snug. That’s when I started. I have a plump backside like my mother. It isn’t that which really bothers me, though. I’ve seen my asshole in the mirror. The skin around it is gray, like charcoal ash. I also have a very lumpy sphincter that sticks out like a little turd mushroom. My mom’s asshole is bright pink and nearly wrinkle-free, like one of those girls in Adam’s Penthouse.Yes, I looked through the pages before. Yes, I know why they are sticky.Anyway, I only know what color my mom’s asshole is because I saw it while she bent over to check on food with me.“Stop bending with the knees,” Adam told us. He said it was better for our backs if we bend at the waist. I wanted to call him a dummy because it was actually the opposite.Instead, I agreed like a dimwitted bimbo.I have a confession to make. My best friend lives next door. Her name is Lainey. She is smart, sexy, and blonde. However, she can also be incredibly dim-witted and short-sighted. Lainey is a perfect match for my brother because they are both smart.
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