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And they had been talking about setting up housekeeping together, too. Ah well, maybe it was for the best.George figured he'd better clear up any misconceptions right from the start before beginning a new relationship. He placed a personal ad.Dreamest thou perchance of fondling a man's posterior?Ever entertainedthe deliciously secret fantasyof penetrating into forbidden recessesof sweet hidden Mystery?In me find fulfillmentof deepest, darkest desires.Replies began trickling in. One of the more bizarre ones was from a woman who claimed to have been born in the wrong gender. Well, why not give it a shot? At the very least it would be entertaining... Miranda was the most physically imposing woman he had ever seen. Six feet tall and well-muscled -- the result of years of body building, she said. They met, at his suggestion, in front of a popular restaurant, and she greeted him with an enthusiastic hug. So enthusiastic, in fact, that she lifted him a foot off the ground and nearly cracked. He was the One, the Only One. How could that have not been obvious to him after everything I’d put up with, after all the times I came back to try again. Here, now, I pull him into a closet and lock the door. I get on my knees and unfasten his tuxedo pants, struggling to reach the zipper under his ridiculous purple cummerbund. By this time the mother of the bride has gotten wind of what’s happening and she’s enlisted the help of the maid of honor to batter the goddamn door down before it’s too late. I smile to myself. My name is infamous to these people. The chastity guard are beating at the door as only two women determined to prevent the ultimate shaming of their beloved girl can. He begins to waver when what he thought was going to be a secret, just one final, farewell blow job from the psycho ex-girlfriend (funny how the psycho prefix is generally added as punishment for enjoying sex a little too much) is looking like it could become the ruin of the many relationships he has.
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