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I felt flushed not knowing what to say finally muttering, "I...I...I never have had a woman before... I mean had sex.." Seeing her smile she reached out her had saying, "I feel privledged then," then tuggin me down to the bed she begins to kisss me.Kneeling on the bed she takes my hand placing them on her hips, "Honey, remove my panties," as I tug them down seeing her womanhood come into view I gasped for breath... it was the most beautiful sight I had seen ... I full life it was much more pretty then a picture so after I stared a bit she sat and took them off parting her legs as another breeze of her love juice came up to meet me.."Mind?" as she lifter on one elbow undoing my belt, then opening the waistband button then pulling down the zipper. I admit I was in a state of shock which I anm sure she felt but she didn't say anything bad rather she bouyed my confidence when she saw the bulg under my shorts, "Your mama should be proud of you," running her hand over it... then pulling. I just didn’t know. I’d found the unconditional love I was looking for. I’d found an ability to be able to return it. My mind blanked out every other aspect, every other possible problem, every other realistic event. I lived totally in the moment. And then it ended. Like the click of a locked door on a jail cell. To say I was devastated sounds so trite. I couldn’t stomach food for three weeks. I couldn’t stand to be in the kitchen cooking dinner for my family. My stomach kept heaving. I picked at pathetic morsels I’d put on my plate so my family wouldn’t notice. I lost weight rapidly, my cheeks became gaunt and my hair and skin looked lifeless. I went for my nightly walks, taking the dog with me. I sat on the bank’s edge by the creek and bawled my eyes out. My family needed me, but I couldn’t give them anything of myself. I had nothing to give. Why me? Why the hell me? Why let me fall in love so deeply, only to take it away from me? I couldn’t come to terms with the loss at all. At.
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