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OK, if you don't mind, I'll call you tomorrow" and she left for home.The following day was Valentine's Day, and for the first time in our marriage, there were some things not happening.I was not getting my wife flowers. I was not getting my wife chocolates. I was not even getting her a card, and I wasn't taking her out to dinner. It left a lot more of my day open when I didn't worry about catering to my wife, trying to find ways to please her. I did stop at a flower shop briefly that day, but that was for someone else.As expected, Stephanie called me at 10:30 to let me know that her new appliances had been delivered.I looked at the clock, and made a suggestion."Steph, tell you what. It's close to lunch time, so why don't we meet at L'Canard for lunch first, and then I'll follow you back to your place and do the installation?" I proposed."Fine by me, Mark. I love L'Canard. But we better get there early if we want to be seated — it's Valentine's Day you know, so every beau will be. This is definitely the worst thing they've ever done to Gerald. He's in agony, poor guy. He's yelping in pain and looks to me like he'll be scarred for life."Well I did say they could do ANYTHING, I guess," I say. It is unspeakably cruel, what Dean's doing, but he does look particularly dishy doing it and I decide it's fine. In fact it's a great prelude for our Prettiest Girl contest.The boys are looking at me, wondering if they've gone too far, waiting to see what I'll say next.I keep them in suspense for a while, look at them with a straight and thoughtful face, so they get to fearing they've displeased me with this pouring boiling water over Gerald and that I'll stop teasing and flirting with them, maybe even call off the Prettiest Girl contest.Then I start grinning. "Hey what about his front, boys? Don't want to do half a job, do we?"Poor Gerald's sobbing and screaming, when he hears this, is truly pitiful. He knows what's coming and there's nothing he can do to stop it. "Yeah,.
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