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As the night went on everybody was enjoying them selfs and about 11 oclock rob lindsay lucy and her bf all went to the local night club me not being able to get in stayed in the party with a friend i played footy with talking at the bar my gf would get in as she looked much older with make up so easily walked passed the bouncersso my mate says to me at the bar fair play linda is a smary classy milf and laughs i just agree thinking what i would do to be balls deep in her she was a blond version of susanna reid from moring telly my mate asked if i wanted any what i said u know oh right i said ok now i dont normally do it but the confidence it gives is amazing i wouyld never of ased hannah out if i wasnted cxxed up so out we come feeling like 2 studs in a brothel my mat spots a bird on her own so woosh hes gone i glance over and see linda talking to her aunty i think looking bored i stroll over and she tells me to sit and talk to this woman who i didnt have a clue who it was next thing. I thought I was home free. Of course I blew it. I thought I'd try this really 'sophisticated' line I heard somewhere. It's called the 'hereafter technique.' It goes "If you're not here after what I'm here after, you'll be here after I've gone." All delivered with a rakish grin. Excruciating, isn't it? The left side of my face was swollen for a week.I felt I was the favourite for the Male Virginity World Championships: through to the last sixteen with only the Pope to beat for a place in the quarterfinals. Fortunately for me and for the sanity of my family - did I mention I was an impossible little prick at home? - I met Sarah. She wasn't one of those instant knockout babes like Nicola or Lyn. She was, well, less obvious, somehow. The most startling about her was her smile. It sort of lit her up from within, if you know what I mean. It was the sort of smile that could change even the English weather. It could be pissing down one minute, Sarah would smile, and suddenly it was sunny. At.
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