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My heart was thudding in my chest as I clutched it firmly in my right hand and slowly brought it to my lips; I tasted the tip with my tongue and let my mind drift. My eyes closed. Then I opened my mouth and pushed the head inside, my lips and tongue caressed it, licking and sucking. I had been fantasizing for months before building up the courage to actually go on-line to a sex store and ordering it, worrying about the size, the color the shape, filled with dread of being exposed, trembling in terror and sexual excitement at the thought of sucking it and most of all my most secret inner hunger to force it down my throat, pretending it was a man forcing me. Now I had it, now I was sucking it, oh damm it, not here, not in the kitchen, where? Yes of course in the bedroom and naked. I pulled it out of my mouth and then walked quickly to the bedroom, to my secret drawer to my little pleasure toy, the vibrator. I slid out of my blouse and skirt,. I know deep down it what you want." I shed a littletear, hoping for a last minute reprieve and forgiveness, but it nevercame. "Oh, I understand sweetheart, you must be nervous and a littleanxious. It is such a big thing for a girl to move in with her boyfriendfor the first time. Here, I'll take your cases to the car, I wouldn'twant you to chip a nail before you get to meet your boyfriend!"We didn't speak during the drive to the airport. I was resigned to myfate. I still couldn't believe what was happening to me, but it washappening. Even thinking about checking in to the airport and flying, asPenny, was scaring me. Soon, we arrived and my wife came with me to thecheckout, smiling to herself as the girl behind the desk struggled withequating my male identification with the woman standing in front of her.However, that ordeal over, my wife accompanied me to the destinationgate and gave strangely, gave me a hug and a girlie kiss on the cheek.She knew I was heart broken, but said solemnly.
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