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One morning, with no fanfare, he shaved off his beard and mustache and drove off in a nondescript car, headed for a small town 231 miles away that he suspected of harboring a crooked administrator.Two Pigs Fucking hated his name. He could never understand why his mother had to come up with that particular choice. Sure, it was the first thing she saw when she left her house after his birth, but why couldn't she have just stopped with Two Pigs? He had stewed and brooded about his name all his life, and had vowed to get even with the world, especially his mother, for having treated him so badly. His name bothered him so much that he became down right psychotic about it!He went through school with the constant teasing that his name induced, and only got more and more bitter over it. Strangely enough, he finally became so attached to the pain caused by the name that he never changed it, all of his life he had been known as Two Pigs Fucking.As soon as he reached the minimum age to qualify,. " I explained." ... for Notre Dame," DeSean said. "I know who Jeremy is." Jeremy lives directly behind my girlfriend's house," I continued. "This is Hal Long. Hal lives down the street from Jeremy. He kicks for Rutgers." Jeremy and Hal greeted the newcomers."DeSean, I'm sure you know Trevor, Shawn and Mitch from Penn State," I said."Shawn and I have run into each other a few times over the past four years," DeSean said with a smile. "Trevor and I ... well, we have run into each other many, many times." Eldon has a Lancaster County connection guys," I said. "His ancestors moved from Lancaster County out to Ohio a few generations ago." That's no surprise with a name like Burkholder," Jeremy noted.My friends welcomed our compatriots to our table. Everyone at the table was going to a bowl. DeSean was heading for the Outback Bowl, Eldon to the Rose Bowl, Jeremy to the Fiesta Bowl and Ed for the Capital One Bowl. Even Hal's 6-6 Scarlet Knights managed to squeeze into the BBVA Compass.
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