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.. but not right now. It would be some fantasy ‘someday’ scenario.Then Brandon had staged it to appear that she and Alan slept together. As horrible as that turned out to be when we discovered he’d raped her, it probably saved me. The sight of the two of them naked in bed and the used condom had finally changed my expectations. It put me in the frame of mind that maybe Tami wasn’t who I would end up with. To be honest, I still didn’t know who that ultimately would be.It had taken me almost a year to get over her. I know it sounds crazy that even after all the anguish, I would still have deep feelings for Tami. But she’d always been ‘the one’ in my mind, the girl I just knew I would grow old with. I still had knee-jerk reactions when I was around her. As much as I might want to, I don’t think I would get entirely past that anytime soon.I’m sure that an uninterested bystander would think I was crazy to have had the kind of feelings I had for Tami. That’s just it, though: love isn’t. But the problem is that no matter how good a wank you have, how beautiful the woman you are watching is, it’s no substitute for holding a woman in your arms. There’s just something missing. That why I’m so lucky to have you.’ We hugged each other for a little while and I started to feel a little movement in his groin. He was ready for another go. ‘I got you a present,’ I said. He smiled, ‘Goodie, lets have it then.’ ‘You can’t have it till we get upstairs, so I’m going to get ready. Give me half an hour.’ He knew that I would be preparing myself for him so he was happy to wait. He would have a shower and lay on the bed waiting for me to finish in the en suite. Was he in for a surprise! So I went upstairs and got myself ready, you know, back there, showered and did my hair. I put on a tiny bit of eyeliner but I hardly use make-up, which he likes, I think, then got into the basque and suspenders. The stockings felt gorgeous on my legs and the basque pinched in my waist and really.
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