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The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"* I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."* My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.Compliments of LarryOne hot summer day, Bruce came to town with his dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into the pub for a cold one.Some 20 minutes later, a cop entered the bar and asked, "Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside... ?"Bruce called out, "It's mine, mate." Your dog seems to be in heat," the cop said.Bruce replied, "No way. She's cool as, 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree."The cop said, "No... ! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred." No way," said Bruce. "That dog. I twisted quickly, his arm snapping and helet go of the syringe in a yell of pain. I kicked out just as the secondman lunged for me and sent him flying to the steam room wall. I heard afew bones snap, then watched as he slumped to the ground. I bolted fromthe steam room, right into the men's change room. Several men werelooking right at me, eyes wide, but then a lustful look appeared ontheir face. I turned down a hallway, grabbing a towel to wrap around myupper body but not before I caught a glimpse of a half-naked stunninglybeautiful woman in the mirror. I didn't pause, but ran out into theoutside pool area and then on into the women's change room.Oddly enough, I was not panicked. I felt a confidence I never hadbefore. I walked up to a full-length mirror and dropped my towels. Otherwomen stood and stared, but I did not care. What I saw nearly stopped myheart. I was definitely a woman now. I'd lost about six inches inheight, so that made me about five foot eight. I had long wavy.
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