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”“Well my son, this is a bottle of holy water, if I rub this on a woman’s tummy, she’ll pass a baby.”“Oh! Wow, dats nuffin,” sneered Joe, “This is a bottle of acid, an ifn I puts it on a dogs ball it’ll pass a motorbike.”An elderly couple, always arguing and trying to put each other down, were closing on their 60 anniversary. Because they argued all the time, they decided to have separate holidays.He decided to spend a couple of weeks at Surfers Paradise whilst she decided to stay at the Crown Casino in Melbourne.After a week, the wife phones him and asks how he’s getting on.“Oh! Wonderful, I was only here a day when I met this sexy 20 year old, took her out for a meal, dancing, then back to my room where we had mad passionate sex, how about you, you old bag.”“I’ve had a wonderful time too you dried up old prune, I met this 20 year old sexy male, he took me out for a bang up meal, dancing then back to my room for some really mad sexy screwing. And I’ll bet you that 20 went into 60. I stood, wanting to run back, and the train left. It left without my heart and soul on it.I had no idea what I'd done.I'd woken up from a dream where my attacker had killed Maxie. Again. And he hadn't been there. I'd wanted to hold onto his body, let the warmth of him wash the dream away and he hadn't been there. It had been damned selfish of me, and I'd panicked. Regardless of that, I knew I was a reprehensible little shit for walking out on him.He didn't pick up his phone, and after I'd tried once, the shame of what I'd done stopped me from trying again. He wasn't home all week, and mum had found the hole in the wall and filled it with expanding foam.Maxie wasn't in school, and then I wasn't.The closer I had gotten to Maxie, the fewer the nightmares had become, but when they'd come they had been awful. Now I dreamt every night. And they were not the same dreams as before.Maxie was walking away. I ran after him through a brown desert landscape, but no matter how my legs pumped and.
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