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She had no bra on, and I playfully ran my nose between her twin mounds as I passed them, only letting go when the zipper reached its end at her crotch. I remember kneeling there, a huge smile on my face, her love box inches from my face, when my arms were pulled up sharply behind me, and a foot pressed against the center of my back forced me to crash face first on the floor, suddenly in pain. My arms felt like they were being pulled out of their sockets as Sally pushed them higher, and I cried out in pain, trying to get away. Sally quickly grabbed my balls with her other hand, and ordered me to be still. I laid quietly, and very still on the floor, very much aware of the perils I faced if I disobeyed her. My arms and balls hurt like hell. Suzy laughed as she ran from the room, and in a moment came back and put a thick leather collar around my neck. Sally twisted my balls a little more as she let my arms down, only so that Suzy could attach the handcuff chain to a short chain dangling. Look at you. You’re tearing yourself up. Do you think you can take all the emotional burden on yourself to spare other people?”“I’d rather me be hurt than them.”“It doesn’t work that way. Even if you don’t try to create an emotional attachment with someone, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Let me ask you this - when Birgit was keeping you at arm’s length, did she hurt you?”I wanted to say no, but Melanie knew better. “Yes. It hurt.”“And? Think it through.”“She hurt me by trying to avoid hurting me.”“Exactly.”We reached her house and walked in. I put my stuff down and collapsed on the couch. Melanie went and got me a Coke and we sat there in silence for several minutes.Melanie had hit the nail on the head. Everything I did to try to avoid hurting someone had the potential for doing exactly the thing I was trying to avoid. How could I resolve this? Was life destined to be like this? Hurting people you love even if you didn’t mean to and perhaps even if you did nothing wrong?Now I.
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