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In my fantasies, I was acting out scenes I’d seen in porn films.Eventually, I hatched a plan. I was red with embarrassment as I visited a florist to buy her some flowers. Next was the chemist for some condoms. My nerve lost me, so I bought some throat sweets, then threw caution to the wind and asked the girl behind the counter for a box of Durex.I cycled to Julie’s house and knocked on the door, my heart pounding. There was no answer. I rang the bell, knocked again and again. I was about to give up and go home when Julie answered the door, breathless.“Sorry, I was in the garden,” she gasped, “Oh, hello Jim.”My well-rehearsed speech was forgotten as I stood there without speaking. I felt myself go red and thought this was a bad idea.She pointed at the flowers. “Are those for me?” I offered them too her, feeling pathetic, wishing I’d spent more money, or not bothered with them. “They’re lovely, thank you.”I shuffled my feet, not knowing what to say. “Was there anything else, Jim? Did. I didn't tell him no. Didn't leave. He knew. It was tacit acceptance of his offer.He went and locked up the front door, came back to me and took my hand. The streetlights outside dimly lit us as he looked me in the eye and gently spoke."Come on. I know you want to. I think it's time."He led me to the back room. There was a table and chairs and small stove and a sofa.He closed the door and turned on the light. I felt so exposed. "Can we do it with the light off?" I asked him.He turned off the overhead light and a switched on a 30 watt nightlight."Is that OK?" Yes, thanks." You're shy, aren't you?" Yes. I never did this before." I figured. But you want to. I know you do."My voice was barely above a whisper as I admitted to someone else, for the first time, that I wanted to experience homosexual action."Yes."His hand came up to my face and he gently caressed my cheek."What do you want to do?"My answer was the truth, but it was a big admission."I don't know, it all excites me." "I'm.
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