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SF --- Buena Vista ParkI celebrated my independence after turning 18 by traveling on my own to San Francisco. A little lost, I wandered into Buena Vista Park thinking it was Golden Gate Park. I noticed spray painted lambdas on the entrance pillars but had no idea they marked this a gay cruising area.Wandering around the trails, a guy came up to me and started chatting. His English wasn’t that good and he was probably a recent immigrant from Latin America. He told me Buena Vista meant good view in Spanish. As we walked I followed him off the main path into the bushes, which were well over our heads. He seemed to know where he was going.We reached a little bit of clearing. He stopped and turned to face me – and I admit I was still clueless as what was happening. Then he reached out and started rubbing the front of my blue jeans."You want me suck you?” I clearly remember his ungrammatical question.I started babbling some excuse about needing to meet friends in Golden Gate Park and ran. Q: What’s the definition of a lawyer?A: A mouth with a life support system.Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?A: No changes occur.Q: How can you tell the difference between a dead skunk and a dead attorney on the road?A: The vultures aren’t gagging over the skunk.Q: What’s the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?A: Jewelry.Q: What do lawyers use for birth control?A: Their personalities.Q: What’s the definition of mixed emotions?A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Only one; the lawyer holds it while the rest of the world revolves around him.A1: How many can you afford?A2: None, they’d rather keep their clients in the dark.A3: Three; one to do it and two to sue him for malpractice.A4: It only takes one lawyer to change your light bulb to his light bulb, then bill you for the privilege.A5: Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object,.
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