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The pain numbed otherpain. Blood helped. It floods the negativity and pain out. For somemoments at least. She thought about it a lot. She thought about cuttingagain all the time and there were moments it was hard not doing it.In her mind, the fresh razor blade carved through her skin several times.Like a warm knife through butter. Blood drops formed and ran down thearm. Dropped to the floor, leaving red sprinkles on the white tiledbathroom floor. She would just sit there and watch the blood. Smearingthe blood along the wound. Satisfied. At least for a few moments. Thosewere the moments she stood in front of her cabinet. Watching therazorblades. Right next to the bandages, skin closure strips and sterilecompresses. For minutes. Sometimes longer. Ramona kept coming back aswell on those days. Staring blankly into the cabinet. Not doing it madeher feel proud of herself. And disappointed. The negativity was in her,did not bled out.Maybe the loneliness added to her current feelings. She. .me – well what you are doing is in a wrong way it might not help you and rather hurt you moreHer – R U the trainer?me – no, but I have been doing it since a month thus I know itwhile we were having this conversation the trainer came and asked me any problem so I explained him the situation and he asked her to do it and show and told her that what I was saying is correct and it will hurt her, while they were having the conversation I left the place and continued my stuff, while I was leaving she came near me and apologised and we had a small conversationSo, from the next day, we started to have more conversations during the gym while we were working out and we became acquaintance and then slowly we became friends and exchanged mobile numbers and started chatting on WhatsApp and it went on with we trying to sync our timings so that we both get in and get out together.We even started meeting out of the gyms on weekends as we both are working professionals and we started sharing about.
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