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Is he telling me I am dead... "That's it, isn't it. I am dead inside?" I hear the words, but can't believe they are coming from me. "But how do I stop it, what can I do?" You have to open your heart, be what you want, do what you want, fill your own needs. Then you can fill other's needs. Your's should always come first. When was the last time you told anyone else NO? Hasn't happened in a while, I don't mean telling the kids no about candy or going to their friends, I mean NO, they can wait, it's your turn now." As he is speaking, I feel as though he is tearing down all the walls that keep people out. The walls that I thought made me safe, until now. Now I see they just keep me in. Taking a chance I reach out for his hand, as we touch the tingle turns into a pulsing desire, my ears are ringing, I feel like a school girl, and I want to share myself with him. I have NEVER felt this way. Don't get me wrong, I DO love Rick, but he never made me feel so alive. He puts down the guitar and. How could itbe in such good condition? I marveled at the glossy covers for asecond, but my thoughts were interrupted."You want hair like that?" the girl asked.My eyes didn't move from the top magazine cover, a headshot of abrunette with bangs that curled over her eyes, and hair that poofed outas wide as her shoulders, but my mouth, heavy with lipstick, formedwords almost on its own, "Oh, god no. That's like what my mom used todo to her hair."But then a strange thought occurred to me. Weren't all the girlswearing their hair like that when I was in high school?"Oh, come on," the girl cooed, "wouldn't it be cool to try it out?"And without any response from me she started fingering my bed-hair,making it smooth and even. Fussing with it like she was my mother. Fora split second I thought I might have even seen her lick her thumb toget a lock of hair to lie down, but I had to be imagining that. I'm not sure why I let her. I guess I was just so transfixed. Thesecond magazine was.
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