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"Bill, it's me." I handed him my license."What, what the fuck is this? Where's Michael Miss? Did you steal hiswallet?"I turned to look directly at him, thankful I was wear pants. "Look at meWilliam."I'd used that name when I was expressing an important point, "Yes, I'mwearing a wig and my nails are polished. My face is a little thinner andI've got makeup on. Oh and my chest is different too."He was completely beside himself. "No Fucking way you are Michael." Hethrew the license to the bar and started to get up.I put my right hand on his left forearm. "Bill, don't leave. Let meexplain what has happen over the past few weeks."He paused and push clear of my hand. "Listen lady, this is not a nicejoke. I got a text from my buddy Michael not some babe in heels."I handed him my Audi keys, hoping the fob would stir him, hoping he stayand give me a chance to explain myself."So you've stolen his car and his ID, get the fuck out of here." But thenhe paused and looked at me, shaking his head.. I'm going to buy a whole one and take it home, then eat the damn thing all by myself. Then I am going to sit on the toilet and either have diarrhea or throw up all night." Well call me tomorrow at least," The Brit said."I will be up at five for my bike ride as usual. The cheese cake will take care of my need to work through the disappointment. It's kind of like when I found out you were gay," I said."Don't try to make me feel guilty for your emotional trials and tribulations," The Brit said with a laugh. Jeremy was in the bar so I didn't go into the times I dressed like a teenage boy for The Brit and let him do it to me in the rear as often and hard as he wanted.My phone rang before I left the pub. "Hello Liam?" I asked."Actually Andrew, Colonel Martin, and I are all here. We wanted to call and ask why you didn't let us come and stuff the ballot boxes." he said."Thanks guys, but it just wasn't to be," I said."Well maybe you can spend more time with us. We are going to have a.
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