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"I need to ask you something?" said my grandmother on the phone "Are you keeping money from us?" No" I replied "Why would you think that?" I then asked."Because we've made three videos now and even though the money was good the last few weeks, its suddenly dropped off again!" That's because people aren't spending their money on your films, they've seen them already! I told you if you want more money, you need to make more films!" I replied."Fine!" my grandmother said "When can you come over?" Tomorrow!" I replied "I'll come over tomorrow!"So, after that, I quickly organised getting use of the collage camera again, and something else for the next day, and then the following morning headed to my grandmothers house.Strolling into her house I called out to her and she called back she was upstairs and would be down in a moment."Where's grandad?" I asked"Out!" replied my grandmother."Oh good" I said happy he wasn't around, because he still didn't approve of any of this, even if he did enjoy. John was elated; he told his wife that finally he was going to get the chance to cross over and whip Clarence.He left the house and returned in a matter of minutes. His wife asked what was wrong, didn’t he intend to go over the bridge and whip Clarence?He replied that he never had really seen Clarence up close and didn’t realize his size until he started over the bridge and saw the sign: “CLEARANCE 8 FT 3 IN”From a passenger ship one can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving is hands.“Who is it?” a passenger asks the captain.“I have no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad like that.”BOY: [calls 911] “Hello? I need your help!”911: “All right, what is it?”BOY: “Two girls are fighting over me!”911: “So what’s your emergency?”BOY: “The ugly one is winning”.My friend hates to exercise, which means the treadmill in her bedroom barely gets used. Nevertheless, she swears by it.“It really works,” she told me. “I throw my jeans over it and they get.
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" 'No. I have always wanted to see your sexy body. You have to take your clothes off, ' he said." 'All right, I'll take my clothes off but there won't be any kissing or oral sex.'" 'No kissing? No oral sex? I don't think I can agree to that, ' he said." 'Then I guess this discussion is over, ' I said." 'Wait. Okay, no kissing or oral sex but you have to let me suck on your tits, ' he said." I hated the thought of him doing that but as long as I didn't have to kiss or suck anything of his I agreed. 'The last thing and this is not negotiable, you must wear a condom, ' I said." John smiled at me and said, 'That's fine except I don't happen to have any with me. You will have to go buy some, ' he said." 'I think you should buy them, ' I said." "If I have to use a condom you have to buy it, ' he said." The whole conversation was surreal. I had just negotiated terms for having sex with another man and at no time had I thought what I was doing wrong. I mean in terms of our marriage. I wasn't.

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