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’ Noelle laughed. ‘Well, I started with a hiss and roar, wrote about fifty thousand words, and then I decided that all of the characters were really rather boring, and if I didn’t care about them, why would anybody else?’ ‘Oh.’ ‘Yes. Oh.’ ‘So, do you have a rescue plan?’ ‘I’m working on one. I promised myself a new year and a new start. That was about a month ago. Now the New Year is only a bit over a week away. Still, I’m normally pretty good with deadlines.’ Even I had to admit that the Salmon Noelle Noel was pretty nice. While looking out at the mounting pillows of snow beyond the window, I wondered, albeit briefly, if we should have chosen a pinot noir rather than a pinot gris. But the pinot gris was still pretty good. ‘Cheers,’ I said. ‘Here’s to a white Christmas.’ ‘I think they all tend to be white up here,’ Noelle said. ‘The first dusting this year was almost a month ago.’ ‘And this is not a dusting,’ I said. ‘No.’ It was at that point that her phone rang again. ‘Oh, hello,. My name’s Joy Taylor, I’m 26, and I’m from Hamilton in Scotland ... And ... I’m turned on by dogsex!”We cut to a shot of Andy and his two big dogs, waiting as the young blonde walks up to them, stopping a couple of meters short so that they can talk. She looks down at the dogs as she talks to our host, breathing heavily, a little smile flickering over her strange mouth as she eyes them up ... She’s quite clearly excited to be in their presence.Andy greets her with a smile and a nod, rather than a handshake or cheek-kiss – the two dogs making her just about nervous enough not to get too close to him. He half chuckles at her nerves as he greets her. “Hello there, Joy...”“Hallooo...” She smiles, hands behind her back, shoulders back, pushing her chest forward to the point we once again think (hope) her full, young boobs might pop out.“I’d start by asking what a nice girl like you is doing on a show like this, but...” He smiles, giving his guest a condescending look up and down, “Ahhh.
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