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.. And where had that meta-ontologist crack come from? As far as I was aware that had been used just once, in a review of my last book, and I'd never really worked out whether it was meant as a compliment or an insult. But why would she have read anything like that? I decided it was time to go into town and see the sights.What with me being an academic and all, you might expect that I went and sat in a gloomy cafe somewhere and pondered the nature of life and the human condition. Actually, I went into town, met up with an old friend and got just as slaughtered as I could afford to and still function the next day. The soul searching and analysis had to wait till the next morning.When, waking up in the inevitably depressing "visiting faculty accommodation" I was using, it all came back and hit me like the proverbial brick. I don't do casual chat ups, am careful not to objectify women (as colleagues or in any other context) and generally put a lot of effort into being a safe and. I'll go and change back at once." I could see tears forming in hereyes as she turned away to go back upstairs. "Stop," I cried, "don't go.Yes I am shocked, but not the way you think. I never envisaged that youcould turn yourself into such a beautiful woman. I have to look reallyhard at you to see even a trace of "Gavin" underneath." Gloria turnedback toward me with a smile of relief on her face. "Do you mean it?" sheenquired. "Do you really think I am beautiful? You can't imagine therelief. I was so worried you would laugh at me or storm out of thehouse." "I think you make a most realistic woman and I am happy to makeyour acquaintance," I responded, smiling and rising from my chair tookher hand in mine. I gallantly bent over and kissed the back of her hand."I am sure the three of us, you, me and Gavin, will be really good house-mates this year. Now I think there is still a drop of wine left, so letme pour us each a glass and we can toast our new friendship."And so we did. One glass.
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Well, she just wasn't the same. She was depressed and sad all the time. The depression disrupted the spells keeping her disease-free and young. She died a couple years later from an infected wound she got while cutting up some chickens for dinner." I sniffled back the tears and said, "You two go ahead and look at that. But don't take too long. We want to get to the after-Christmas sales early."As I was leaving Daphne ran up to me and asked, "Aunt Sarah, what'd Grandpa really think about Grandma's tail?" Publicly, he told me he found it really sexy, and loved to feel and stroke it." And privately?"I dropped my voice to a whisper. "Your mother and I once snuck a look when we heard them doing it in their room. Dad was on top of mom pumping away, with her tail firmly buried in his ass. I asked him about it later, and he told me that some of the best sex he ever had was when she had her tail firmly inside him." Wow."I shoved him back into the room. "Now get dressed, young.

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