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What may I do for you?”“Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electronic hair dryer for my Mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?”“I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.” “With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.” When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.The official asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?” “From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.”The official thought this answer strange, so asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?” “I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.”Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father. Next!”Definition :Trumping - the ‘art’ of talking through one’s arse.From a Friend of J & G.Three Irishmen are sitting in. Now you owe me monies!" Cupcake houses?"Shannon nodded and pointed at the Candyland game board."See? Cupcake houses and I'm Cupcake!" Oh great, my daughter is a slum lord!" he said, laughing. "Money, huh? How about I give you a great ... big ... BEAR HUG?"He growled as he leaned over and grabbed her. She squealed and screamed and then began laughing as her daddy squished her. Allie looked on and smiled."Is this a family group hug?"Zach paused and looked up at her."Only if I can get my panties unbunched," he said coldly.Her smile faded."Of course, it would be easier," he continued, "if I didn't have people trying to manipulate me like a puppet on a string. I've got an ex-fiancée trying to lure me into meeting with her and a mother who can't stop pushing me to go fix that part of my life. That about right, mother?"She sighed as she stared at him."I was only trying to help. You get so angry when it comes to her."Zach whispered, his voice dripping with sarcasm."I know what you are trying.
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