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.. Even though I desperately longed, more than anything,to be so. I spent my thirteenth birthday wishing that I could just tearoff my boy's uniform, pull on a skirt and once again be part of that'clique' that had so cruelly abandoned me. It didn't even have to bewith Caitlin, Jessica or Noor, just being part a clique with ANY girlswould have been enough for me. By my fourteenth birthday, that longinghad become desperation. And by my sixteenth, just a few months prior,that desperation had become urgent.I'd try to offset the desperation by pretending to be a girl at home, ofcourse- the usual girlish things such as singing into a hairbrush - butthere's only so much you can do when you don't have the 'equipment' youneed to pretend. Sure, I could wrap a towel around my waist and pretendI'm a runway model, but most models don't go around displaying the crestof Brighton and Hove Albion Football Club on their arse.Of course, I'm not lying to dad when I say that I'm 'gay'. My obsessionwith. I came of age being use to being touched by guys. Most times incidentally during the game and a few times not so innocently, but my brothers put a quick stop to it if they thought it was intentional and not just in the course of play.Fast forward a few years and there’s the guy (from the first chapter)I’ve been giving oral pleasure to for a few months.Back then, I would have called him my “boyfriend” but looking back, he never took me anywhere, never acknowledged me as his girlfriend and only wanted me when no one else was around (He didn’t like me, he liked blowjobs) He wanted more and I wasn’t quite ready to actually “do the deed” so I thought blowjobs would keep him happy until I was ready.Today, the garage at his house would be called a man-cave but back then it was more of a rec-room.We were on the futon “making out” which consisted of us French kissing and rubbing each other over our clothes as a preamble to me giving him head.I pulled him out of his pants and leaned over to.
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