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This isn’t like that. I’d do it if I could find a way to do it right, but the exact technology isn’t available anywhere I can find, anyway, and God knows I’ve looked.Let me tell you what I’m looking for, maybe you know something. An app, I’m looking for an app for my smartphone that I can use to unlock a padlock remotely. That’s all. Is that too much to ask of 21st century technology?That’s how simple my problem is. Oh, it’d be nice to have a couple of features, maybe a way to check the lock to get the status, you know, if it’s engaged, or it has been pried open or something. And a way to keep the number of the phone hidden would be nice, like a private number. Maybe a special notification ringtone I can set. That isn’t too much to ask, is it?What for, you want to know? What, do you want to be a PSO or something? Why else would you want to know? I understand curiosity, I guess, but do you think I want every PSO on the site scouring my feedback trying to figure out which. "Let's go to Sears and get you some panties today, and maybe a couple ofblouses and pairs of pedal pushers and a couple of training bras."Mom." What. Surely you agree with me that this is fun. Why not go further?That'll be more fun. It's Sunday, there won't be many people around. Wecan shop in peace. We can get you lipsticks and mascara, the whole kitand caboodle for summer fun, plus your clothes. Then we can come backhome and get you all fixed up." She was obviously looking forward to allthis and, while I thought it might be a little embarrassing, it mightalso be fun, something new, and who besides me and Mom would know?By the end of the day that Sunday, she had me all dressed up the way shewanted, with my hair brushed and combed a different way and myfingernails polished, too. I looked very feminine and she loved it andkept on telling me how much fun she was having. I didn't know what tothink, but she was enjoying herself so much, I just went along, but, tobe fair, it was.
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