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"(I love this part) The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."This one is compliments of kilocyclesExcuse meA man enters a hotel lobby. As he runs to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman and as he does, his elbow hits her breast.They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 243."This one is complements of R LA little boy walks into a whorehouse with a murderous look on his face and a dead frog in his hands and asks, "I want a whore with herpes."The madam looks at the boy and says,"We don't have any of those around here, kid."The boy is not to be deterred, and screams, "I WANT A WHORE WITH HERPES!"The madam decides that it's gonna be easier to just give the boy what he wants and leads him to a room in the back where there is indeed one of that description.After a while, the boy comes back. ”“I have arranged for the family of Hassatt to be kept safe in my palace. I will not permit their murder to assuage my brother’s wrath and shame. There is little else I can do for the fleet members though; no doubt he will want a public spectacle.”“I fear you are right.”“I will endeavour to keep my brother from wrecking the Hegemony. However, he is now out of any control, mine or yours.”“An almost impossible task,” Kli grimaced.“Yet it must be done.”“He has tasked us to assemble a Grand Fleet to attack this Empire. I believe he thinks overwhelming force will win the day for the Starlit Hegemony.”“It may work, initially,” Nild replied thoughtfully.“He is also planning to scorch the Imperial worlds.”“Such a move will probably make the Imperials fight like demons. Expect massive retaliation if our fleets do this.”“What intelligence we have places Imperial fleet numbers at twenty with six reserve fleets. This gives them approximately thirty thousand vessels compared to our near one.
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