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Strictly no student’s permitted.” Oh my goodness! Hermione jokes from my colleagues now. It was the principal, Neil Smith, dressed for-fuck’s-sake as Dumbledore, the principal at Harry Potter’s Hogwarts School. He was wearing a long, white Santa Claus beard, his college academic gown and a rumpled witch’s hat from a costume store. I mean he could’ve been Gandalf from Lord of the Rings, but the principal dressed as a famous movie principal was actually quite clever. “I’m sorry, Professor Dumbledore,” I cried, eyes wide with mock earnestness. “But the schoolyard is filled with trolls and dementors. I came in here to be safe. Please don’t send me back out there!” “Ha!” he cried with a smile. “I was wrong to match wits with an expert. I presume you’re very adept at rebuffing Hermione Granger jibes.” “You don’t know the half of it, Mr Smith,” I smiled ruefully, taking a seat opposite him at the lunch table. “Not long until the wedding, Jeannie,” he said, changing the subject. “Oh, don’t. She was, in fact, bald as a baby's butt down there. For the first time in my life I saw a real, live, not-air-brushed set of pussy lips.I groaned. I know I did because I heard it, and she wasn't the one who made that awful noise.Some of those daydreams came rushing back into my head. It didn't help. In fact, all it did was paralyze me further. I felt like I had turned to stone, and was slightly amazed that my ribs would move enough to let me keep breathing. They did, though, because I heard what sounded like an old timey locomotive chuffing away, and realized it was me, breathing.But then things took a turn away from my fantasies.My paralysis remained as she turned and reached into her knapsack. She pulled out a yellow tank top and a pair of khaki shorts with cargo pockets on them. She shrugged into the tank top first, pulling it down and smoothing it over her breasts. It was thin enough I could see the darkness of her nipples through it. Then she stood up and stepped into the shorts.
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